Monday, January 30, 2006

Did You Think (1995)

(for the battered)

What did you think I’d say
When you turned and walked away?
Did you think that I’d be lonely?
Longing for you and you only?

Did you think my eyes would sacrifice the pain?
Did you think that I would wait for you baby
On that runaway train?

For a minute did you think
When you took that second drink
That you could lay me down
Back flat upon the ground
Like a hound?

Longing for your kiss
Only to be dismissed---
Thinking I would stutter
Cauze you were the best thing since peanut butter?

Did you think that if you persisted
That your story would come untwisted?
Or that the lies you slathered quick
Would be one beguiling trick?

Was your cockiness a show
Just to let me know
That when it really all came down to it
I was just your… well, you know?

Did you think if you kept me hanging
That I’d even consider staying
That I’d forget about the calls
And stare up at the wall
While you justified your small

Did you really think I'd miss you
or I wasn't strong enough to resist you
or was it that you were just so good
you figured no real woman could?

Did you ever stop to ponder
that I may start to wander
that I don't like being treated bad
that I'm not your punching bag?

Did you think that if you showered me
With candy cards and flowers
That you could win back my affection?
Turn the tables in your direction?

What was going through your head
When you turn over in your bed
Suddenly aware
The spot next to you is bare?

Did you believe that the excuses
Will ever erase the bruises
Or that sex money and flowers
Will substitute dark hours?
Do you feel that humiliation
Would keep me in my place and
If that didn’t to the trick
You’d shut me up with one good kick?

Can sweet apologies on the phone
Repair a broken collarbone?
Or a night without the kids
Heal my broken ribs?
Did telling me you loved me
Make up for all the time you shoved me?
Or maybe you thought that if you kissed me
I’d forget you hit me?
Was crying like the clown
Supposed to break me down?

Did you think that I was so desperate that I wouldn’t have you arrested?
Have you thrown in jail
And let you rot in there?
Did you think it didn’t hurt that when I looked at my reflection
I saw dirt?
That I thought that I should die--
Commit suicide ?

I could not understand
That this was the way that love would end
And when I think back to beginning bliss
I never thought it come down to this

But my depression was episodic
You’re the one that was psychotic
Did you really think it would be long before I’d be gone?
Contrary to what you thought
My life is too precious to be bought
Nobody’s worth 14K gold
And pride can’t be bought and sold

So I’m leaving without a trace
With my self respect in place
And you cannot understand what happened to your plan
Stay muddled in your confusion
Can’t see through your illusion
Cauze no matter what you say
My life is worth yours any day

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