Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Hey baby,

I heard about your new life
shiny, brand new and tight
the life you breathed to dream
but didn't mean to
you inhaled only to calm your raging lungs
red with screams
of too little air and space

but look atcha
now you walkin' like you own the place
And maybe you're scared that a tinge of hate may be
sitting on my shoulder?

Well, baby, I'm happy for you.

not because what went down wasn't foul
but because when it all comes rolling down
and time stands still
in unrequited moments
I could be one bitter witch
and scratch that itch
to tell you all about yourself,
but who would that help?

above all, I am about results,
so resultingly,

I want peace more than I want resolution
and I want release more than I want attachment
and despite everything

I want your happiness
more than I want you.

I made it a policy
never to attach myself
from somebody I couldn't extract myself from

and you're case study number one.

And if that sounds cold
understand if I made in my eyes
a dream that lived or died
with out my hero by my side
God forbid the hellish end I'd live

It was my bad to recieve my cleave from
those that merely breathe
air and eat seed
and return to dust
just to satisfy my lust
for a few words
like "I love you."
when I didn't even love me.

I made it a policy never to attach myself
to someone I could not extract myself from

but ah, what has become of the one
who only knew the moon then saw the sun
and now I run because it seems no matter how hard
i try to shake this feeling, it is there

and so I've learned to accept the things
I believed I couldn't bear

I'v got a part of you in my skin
and I can't begin to tell where
I start and you end

so instead of ripping myself stitch by stitch
I've learned to be a quick mend

and I can live without you
while loving you
enough to let you go

so, congratulations, baby

I am truly happy for
the music in your eyes
the smile in your step
and the laughter on your lips

even if I didn't put it there
Even if I never see it
even if I never know it
ever again

forgive me my faux paux
I'm learning
to mend

Friday, February 01, 2008

joy accept the things that I cannot change
change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

I close my eyes and say a little prayer
hoping that after ripping heartache
my laughter is still there

And for the life of me I cannot figure out how
I let loose conversations and practical conversions
distract me from my joy

Where is my joy?
did it wander away from me
panic sticken with separation anxiety
or was it just longing to be free
from someone who no longer paid it any attention?

in the inner eclipse of time
I find myself sitting out too many nights
standing in front of the sun
blocking my own light

spoiling for a 1,2 fight

getting sucker punched by life

why you always in trouble to be in a hurry?
barely kissing 30

selling out late night dreams
to turn in early

fit to be tied to a life
that you don't really want and can't afford

playing one upmanceship on a rigged board
betting on park place
but living in leftover lane

unwittingly outgunned
unaware it's all the same game

but tonight I'm going to look my life in the eye
and tell it thank you
gonna look myself in the mirror and say
I forgive you

gonna look my joy up
in the directory
and tell it I've got your number
and I'm coming to get you

I'm coming....