Friday, March 23, 2007

daring acts of repentance reached by name

your eyes
petal soft
they always come into me like this
brown like leaves

where do they go?

a tormented soul
a struggling dialect
a windy kiss you leave
branches and grass and leaves uprooted
in your path

the calm in you spills into me
like an inlet
filling the rocks and hardened paths
that no man had crossed

i am engulfed in your potential
halos of yellow and red
floral meccas melt into my feet
crushed only by the sheer weight of my desire
of my mahalia moment

and in this moment, I love you like I never loved before, because I know you.

I gave into you once
yielded to your deceptive beauty
your warm rivers and lakes
so sweet in my malleable mouth

this is the curse of competency
you are the empty ache
no amount of human love will quench

I rounded your rocky shoulders
heaving and brooding with the
thickness of what you lost

I have been habored by your hope
floated in your delicious delicate parts
bathed by the unearthly beauty
that never seems to settle, but unnerve

I have been caught in your
red song of rage
that beautiful quiet rush of roses
swept into the torrents of your
baited breath
as you sigh, so unsatisfied

We could have been great
but could is an auxiliary verb
it does not invert

like the wind
It comes bringing things it collects
and it leaves

my eyes meet yours
and I know you
your lakes and rivers
your firestorms
your tender branches
your cold caverns

and I thank God
for freedom to love you
and let you go

the last kiss
is mine
it is red roses
it is yellow flowers
it is bright bridges
over the troubled lands of you
it is gentle wishes
and an endearing love
that endures your changing seasons
it falls upon the moon cast in my eyes
then yours
then lips
touching the very center of you
loving the very heart of
what could be

and parting
with the ease
of calm waters


woke up this morning
drowning in a life
that I didn't ask for
searching out my own survival
waiting on my rescue

a deep breath, and I go under
the minutes that I wasted
wondering, worrying, waiting
for something to breakfree

My mind is mired in the
thickness of any and every
perceived injustice
I ever knew
wet with the words
of all those who
took from me
my own breath
to save themselves
in a cold and lonely ocean

woke up this morning
drowning in a life that I didn't ask for
but must live
While holding my breath
I let go of a living life

But the waters are deep
I know I could die here
stuck in my sorrow

But the past is past.

The weight of my why's
can no longer anchor me
I must let go
with a buoyant hope
a thrashing joy
a swimming mind

I must keep my eye on your hand
and listen to the quiet swoon
of water parting
and reach

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Isreal's Advice

He blew into my ear
hot kisses
of needy words

Keep waiting on God
We seek God
But God is not lost
We are

I thought of the ones who left
before they came
and dared myself to believe

When it is time, he advised knowingly, gently
like God
One will be sent
to love you
He, will find you.

dropped stitches

The earth is a red line
hot and seamless
it tears the sternum
in the center
of my soul
with furious force
leaving behind
unravelled memories of myself
my unself
my selfishness
that haunts me
like my holes

within the quiet meditation of Your presence
I am revealed
the scared sad girl that I am
the bold strong woman that I am
The two of themt
wins in one soul
fighting a battle
neither started
nor finished
but one must win

It isn't personal, but it is an intimate battle.

To love him
any him
I must loveYou
all of you
I must forgive me,
each of me
and pray
that in the process
I am able to stand.

In the end I am the great house divided
a grand garment unmade
angelic ashes in the heavenly hand
of a potter who has the eyes to see with faith
what my
vision cannot comprehend